I have a confession...

A note from a very tired artist.

Hey lovely,

How’re you doing? I’m absolutely shattered. This week has demanded more of me than most. I’ve barely kept my head above water with the tasks that have been urgent, let alone the nice to do’s that usually slot seamlessly into my week.

I’ve worked long hours as a scenic artist this week. I even worked an extra day to get a project over the line before I had to move onto the next one. It’s been a lot of pressure and a juggling act to try and keep everyone happy but I’m sure my bank balance will thank me for it at the end of the month.

In addition to that I’ve had two very social and busy weekends in a row. These have been a lot of fun but have taken a lot from me energetically, my cup is very close to empty…

I went to book club on Thursday evening. I’ve walked Tilly. Even basic things like washing my hair have been squeezed in between the chaos of making sure that Birthday presents are ordered for friends and ingredients are bought for silly cocktail making games.

This brings me to my confession. Whilst I have been busy painting for theatres I haven’t touched my personal sketchbooks once this week.

In fact, I can probably count on one hand the amount of art business related tasks I’ve completed this week.

Whilst this makes me a little sad and frustrated I am also noticing that I don’t react in the way that I used to when this happens. I used to spiral and hate on myself for not showing up for my art each and every day.

Now, I can acknowledge that I’m a freelancer. My work ebbs and flows. I am not always in control and all I can do is manage my reaction to the things thrown my way.

I choose to give myself grace. To allow myself to be late with this post, to have no deep, philosophical or helpful topic to discuss here but rather to show up in the imperfection of where I am right now.

I know my art will wait for me. I know the work that I have done previously is working for me even whilst I can’t build on that this week. This is not stagnancy even though it feels that way. Ideas are brewing. I’m still absorbing artists podcasts, I’m still an artist looking at other people’s artworks online gathering ideas and inspiration is something that never stops for me.

I even dropped one of my works into a gallery this morning. My existing body of work is still out there weaving it’s magic, just because I’m not creating new work right at this very moment doesn’t negate all of the work that I’ve done or mean that I’m no longer an artist.

I want you to know that breaks are normal. Summer is often a hectic and overwhelming time. All I was able to do this week was ride the wave in the knowledge that this will pass and my work will still be waiting for me on the other side.

It really is no big deal. We can always try again tomorrow. If we beat ourselves up for “not doing the thing” we’ll have even less energy to actually “do the thing” tomorrow.

I wanted this to be a short note on how I’m doing but somehow I had more to say than I thought…

I think I’ll leave it there for today. I hope this can be the permission slip you needed to let yourself off the hook this summer?

Sending love x